I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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