on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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