No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
