I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
ttyl tear gas
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
