Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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