id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
