i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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