Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
