my room smells like sperm. sweet.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
