She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
