I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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