You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Well I just put wine in my tea
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
