Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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