I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
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