anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Randomize
