I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
