I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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