do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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