we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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