Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
