i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize