Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
