Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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