You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
