your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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