How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
