this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
