My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
