pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I touched a dick in church today
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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