id be glad to
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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