i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
