Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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