There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
