She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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