So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
