...so i touched it.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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