Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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