Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
ok first of all what the fuck
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
