found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
