I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize