Nicole vs. Life
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
