I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Who did Billy Mays play for?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
