They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
