just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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