I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
