I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
