I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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