She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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