The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
