well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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