I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
