Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
