fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
