I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
