Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
