Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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