i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
