have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
