I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
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