Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
The uberlube is also flammable
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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