How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
