i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
