You really coming over, don't trick.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize