spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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