Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
