I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
