Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.

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(438): View more from Quebec

that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.

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(409): View more from Texas

I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop

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(585): View more from New York

I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.

Fav 1 3074 1140
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(954): View more from Florida

The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.

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(551): View more from New Jersey

You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis

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