I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
